10 things I never knew before I became a mum

By Claire de Franck, Editor 01 May 2020


1. That I would spend a LOT of time telling little white lies and making me out to be a model child –‘when I was your age, I always ate broccoli’; ‘when I was your age I hardly watched any TV’; ‘I always tidied my room when I was asked’ – honestly Pinocchio and I have a lot in common.

2. I would never finish a cup of tea or coffee EVER.

3. I would bribe more than the Mafia.

4. That I would never go to the bathroom in peace EVER again – and to always lock the bathroom door – unless you want your son, daughter, cat and husband all in there at the same time.

5. That I would spend a crazy amount of time having to learn the words to every Disney song going – do not get me started on ‘Let it go’ or ‘I want to build a snowman’ (have swerved the sequel!).

6. That I would spend half my life putting washing in the machine and the other half emptying it, hanging it up and putting it away!

7. That up until now, I never really knew what it felt like to be really hugged – with little arms holding you so tightly and asking you to never leave.

8. That I would burst with pride at the slightest thing you did.

9. That trying to leave the house everyday to go anywhere would turn into a planning expedition to rival Everest – ‘go to the toilet’; ‘have you got your shoes’; ‘yes you have to wear a jumper’; ‘no you cannot take lego to the park’; ‘no I have not seen your other shoe’

‘No you don’t need to take 5 star wars books with you and your batman costume – we are going to Coles’.

10. That I would love you more than I ever thought possible.

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