Story of my Asian Tiger Dad

Written by Nigel Wong, Kids In Perth | In collaboration with TellThem4Me® 15 Feb 2022

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"It's an old habit. I spent my life trying not to be careless...Women and children can be careless, but not men."

Don Vito Corleone

For most men, this quote and touching scene from The Godfather brings us to the moments when our fathers are teaching and preparing us for life's burdens and responsibilities.

While experiencing these lessons and harsh truths, for some, it may seem pedantic at the time. Here's my story.

At 10 years old, I was told to be “the man of the house” while Dad was working away a lot.

By 15 years old, I knew family trust structures, which accountants to talk to, ownership stakes in the family business, where safe deposit box keys are kept, and who to trust in case of an emergency.

Once I started working in the family business, I was always drilled to “be thorough”.

“You’re not careful with details, that's why you're not thorough” was all I ever heard.

Along with this, came a classic repertoire of Asian Tiger Dad putdowns that would make Gordon Ramsay look like a Kindergarten teacher.

"You're a twit."

"You're stupid."

My personal favourite was "you're not good or smart enough to build or run anything let alone this company".

Often these gems were usually delivered in front of anybody and everybody. Most people would've wilted but I just took it, internalised everything, and patiently contemplated how things would change things once I've proved him wrong.

It’s in his Asian Tiger Dad nature to prepare and drill his only son for the worse.

Also, to help wake me to the realisation of his mortality, Dad is "not always going to be around".

Everything including leadership is to be earned, not given.

Unlike a Western rainbow, at the end of any Asian rainbow isn't a pot of gold but a fishing rod and knowledge. If the rod is bent? Don't complain, fix it.

Be grateful for the opportunity.

“When the time comes, you know and need to know where everything is and plan accordingly,” he would always lecture me while slowly dragging on a cigarette with a glass of wine in the other hand.

Being a dutiful Asian son, I took in all these life lessons like Michael Corleone while inhaling and smelling of the secondhand smoke that contributed to my childhood asthma.

Cheerful senior asian father and adult son using tablet smartphone in living room, Happiness Asian family concepts

Now, 30 years later, my father is retired and I'm grateful and reminiscent of these lessons while I'm working and toiling away here. It's shaped my nature and mentality to never be overconfident in my abilities and realise tomorrow isn't always given.

However, for all the financial details, personal wishes and random instructions or "Wongisms"... it’s hard remembering everything especially now that I'm busy with a family of my own.

Recently, I discovered and told my father about TellThem4Me® because, simply put, we can't remember everything.

TellThem4Me® is an online platform for any parent and grandparent looking to prepare ahead and provides peace of mind for loved ones around them.

Thankfully, my father now has a secure and central “nest” to populate with important instructions, personal wishes, and sensitive information in his own time and at his own pace.

Have a similar story about your father? Please share in the comments below.

Find a walkthrough of the TellThem4Me® platform below.

find out more about TellThem4Me® below.

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Mission Statement

Parent Thoughts | Is Tiger parenting good or bad?

asian father and elementary-age son sitting on grass outdoors having a conversation.

Benefits

Children that are self-motivated, productive and responsible.

Teaches children to focus on meaningful long-term goals, rather than, short-term rewards.

Greater sense of pride that comes from doing anything and everything to a high standard. Quality in mass-produced quantity is the mantra.

Cons

Children being constantly compared to other kids can lead to seriously compromised self-esteem issues and materialistic adults.

Tiger children can grow to become resentful of their parents and, eventually, really hate them. Imagine your child perceiving you as being the bully.

Anxiety, depression, and poor coping skills in children as they feel unworthy of their parent's approval.

Are you the product of Tiger parenting? Have a story? Please share in comments below.

TellThem4Me ® | Walkthrough

TellThem4Me is an online platform that provides a “nest” for securely documenting and storing important information and personal wishes.

It’s easy to use, loved ones can access it anytime so they’re able to speak for you and make decisions at a time when you can’t.

Being organised and getting your affairs in order, whether for parents or grandparents, lets your loved ones know that they're doing what you would want them to do.

Benefits | more about...

Secure online storage which you can access anywhere, anytime
Membership represents excellent value for money. With a full membership costing less than $1 (AUD) per week
Choose the essential and non-essential information you record
Easy to add, update or delete your information
No book, no journals, no handwriting required and no worries about paper-based wishes and record being lost, damage, or destroyed
Nominate up to 3 people with 'read only' access
Receive a free TellThem4Me ® membership pack containing a welcome letter, fridge magnet, and static window sticker. You will also receive a My Digital Footprint digital password book and pen so you can keep track of all those websites and mobile apps along with usernames and passwords in one convenient place